Check out our link to our house site>>>>>>>

Ted uploaded our pictures the other day and said, "Uh Stacy, we hardly have any pictures of our kids from the last two months-- mostly house." We felt very pathetic and are trying to change that...

It's autumn time!

We've been blessed with some beautiful wind-free October weather! As I type this it sounds like there's a hurricane rumbling around the house- but hey! We take what we get around these blown parts! The leaves will be gone tomorrow- I wonder where they all go?

10

Regrets? Yes...not enjoying and living in the moment more often. It sounds so cliche' but time really does just fly by and nothing matters but the lives of these sweet precious spirits sent to our homes. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Hopes? Yes...to enjoy more abundantly the sweet precious moments that I have left...time is ticking the wrong way for me now. 9 years and counting...Nothing else matters. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Stop and think about the great eternal picture and what we would regret the most...I would regret nothing more then wasting the moments I have here on earth with these, my little wonders. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

It is a daily struggle and a daily battle to remind myself that the chaos and hoopla we sign ourselves up for is really nothingness. Nothing next to teaching them that they are sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father. They are my purpose- my teachers-my heartache-my joy- my love- my everything...everything...everything.

Here's to a decade of motherhood with one of the most noble sons (in my very bias opinion) sent to this earth.

15 Years Ago

I needed to take a moment- although I have basically given up on the blog thing lately- to pay tribute to my amazing Mom this month. It's almost as though the world has found a way to commercialize breast cancer. In some ways I'm thankful that awareness has grown. In other ways I'm appalled to see "Save the ta ta's!" in bright pink on a high school boys car. It makes it seem almost a joke or makes light of a situation that is not at all light.

I still remember the exact moment that my Mom and Dad sat us down in our living room in Anderson, CA to tell us. I was 16. I remember my Mom being very upset for a few days beforehand and my Dad flying home early from a business trip. I remember they told us that Mom would have to start chemotherapy right away because the lump was large and they were afraid the cancer might have begun to spread. They thought if they did the chemo first it might help fight the spreading cancer. I remember they told us that they didn't want anything in our lives to change. They didn't want me to quit track or cross country. We would still go to mutual. We still had to do chores- more chores actually. It was August- right at the beginning of the school year. My baby sister Michelle started kindergarten that year. My Mom was primary president. They released her. I remember telling my track coaches and friends at school- they were horrified. I was numb.

I stood in the bathroom and watched my Mom's hair fall out as she combed it. It was a black brush with red bristles. I watched her get thinner and thinner. I remember meal after meal brought in to our home by amazing ladies in our ward. I came home more then once to my Mom's friends doing our laundry. My Mom had always wanted to make a quilt. She began the process-and was soon too weak. Her friends finished the quilt for her. I remember the first time they spread it out over her in my parents bedroom. Our family will cherish that quilt forever. I remember that my Dad bought a love-seat size sofa- with a bed-so that he could sleep near her but not bother her with tossing and turning.

I remember the first time she had to stay home from church because the doctors were worried that her immune system was too weak from the chemo to fight off even a common cold. She was bald by then and didn't like to wear the scratchy wig. I remember worrying about her that day.

I remember my grandma coming to stay for a month when my Mom had surgery. I remember she was in surgery for 15+ hours. My Grandma fainted when she went to see my Mom-the nurses made her go down to the er. My Dad made us kids wait a couple days- I blacked out when I first saw her so small and frail in the hospital bed. My Dad shoved me down on the floor and stuck my head between my knees because he didn't want to make another er trip.

My Mom was 5 years older then I am now.

Perspective.

She had birthed and nursed and raised 5 beautiful children. She quietly stood by as my Dad was called into the bishopbric the first year of their marriage- as bishop when he was 29 and Jamie was two weeks old- into the Stake Presidecy immediately afterwards. She worked out- ate a very healthy diet. She read her scriptures and prayed. She reared her children in the gospel. She did not question this disease hitting her- it did not break her stride as she moved forward with faith and determination. I only have a small perspective now, because I am a mother, of the emotions and thoughts that must have been plowing through her head. Her children- her husband...

She won! We won!!

Gratitude.

I am grateful to the doctors, nurses, surgeons, family, neighbors, strangers, friends, ward family...who saw my Dad, Eric, Jamie, Lisa, Michelle and I through this trying time. It is impossible to imagine the last 15 years of my life without my Mom. She is my rock. She is who I call for a sound ear an open heart a quiet word. She has given each of my babies their first bath. She is Emma's best friend. She has steered me through my own messes and helped me to see that lessons can be learned in all situations. We are, as a family, what same may think of as wierdly close. I can see wierd things about our family that people on the outside may not understand completely- but I also know the behind-the-scences view. We are desperately grateful to still have what I can justly call an mother angel among us to lead us and guide us.

So while it is important to "Save those ta-ta's!"---in the end what we are saving is the grace, compassion, charity, and love that can only be found in the bosom and heart of a woman.



OK- apparently I need to be better at taking pictures of my Mom...I am in pathetic short supply.

September 5 years ago

YOU HAVE TO CHECK THIS OUT!!

I don't know how to do the link thing....

but check out this awesome website---I'm hooked!

www.cozi.com

Signing off

For a few weeks- I'm just going to close the blog down for a while...we're taking our computer apart- who knows when we'll have time to put it back up!! Thanks a bunch!

Go-Go- Gadget!

Growing up we never got paid for good grades- it was just expected. We'd get a high five or a pat on the back- or an "I expect you to do better next time." So I told Ted when James started school no payment for good grades. However, I feel that after a long year of good efforts some token of accomplishment should be manifested...hence- summer camps! A reward for both Mom and kids. Mom gets a mid summer break-kids get to spend time with friends and do cool stuff. James and Emma have not been informed of this yet...it's a trial and error sort of idea- but I think it passed for sure! This year was the first year we decided to fork out a hefty amount for a real "summer camp!" James has done a couple of baseball camps in the past- and of course scout camp- but when our good friends approached us about this science camp I thought it would be a great opportunity for James to stretch his brain a little! It was an all day camp and James got to go with his best friend Brayden. They both had a blast and learned a ton! He came home talking about suspension bridges and atoms and how magnents worked and they built actual robots! WSU really did a good job teaching and making it fun at the same time.

Emma got to spend a few days- she got sick half way through the week- at the Tri-City court club camp having a blast with her good friends Mia and Rosie and their big sister Mindy who runs the camp. They played tennis, swam, went on a few field trips, climbed rock walls, did karaoke, gymnastics- all sorts of stuff. And Emma went to bed exhausted every night!

Yeah for summer camps! Now we'll sit back and enjoy these last few weeks of summer.

Humility...

Broken kitchen sink
Broken computer
Broken camera
Broken air conditioner
Broken jeep (Ted's- not the little boys:)- thank goodness because THAT would be tragic)
Broken garbage disposal
Broken front yard sprinklers
Puking Emma
When it rains...it pours! You can't grow without water! Life is good!

"When life looks like it's falling apart, it may just be falling in place."

Jamie

Jamie was born today. I was five years old. I have vague memories of seeing her in the hospital. I know my grandma was there to help. I do remember holding her. I did not know- nor would I know for many years- how deep the roots of our friendship and sisterhood would delve. Our move from Washington to California hurt us all- but especially Jamie. I wish that I would have been a better friend to her during that time. It is one of my deepest regrets. Watching my Mom battle breast cancer brought us together like nothing you could ever imagine. We didn’t have any family around and we were all we had to lean on. But I could have been kinder- more compassionate- more loyal to my dear sweet sister. It makes my heart hurt to think of the many cutting remarks I made to my sweet blue eyed- blond haired little sister who adored me- and I thought she was such a pest! As we’ve grown and spent the last 11 years growing closer and appreciating each other a little more…I need to tell her- and the world- how amazing I think she is. She has been dragged through muck and come out stronger. She is now a voice for women and children and men- for families. I am so proud of what she is doing and what she has accomplished I’m sorry if this offends anyone- but she is my kids favorite! She lived with us on a few occasions so it can’t be helped- she knows them and loves them as if they were her own. Her love for them buoys mine on the hard days. I aspire to be as compassionate- caring- and fun loving as she is. . . She reminds me through her actions that children are to be loved and enjoyed. I love her with all my heart and I cannot imagine my life without her.

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Last night James kept telling me that he wanted to run two miles. I don't know where he pulled that number from- out of the sky. Around 8:30 last night- after we dropped a load at the storage unit- James and I took off together. He has ridden his bike with me while I've run- but has never run with me. Last summer he would run around our block- which is .5 mile- and die about half way around because he started off at a sprint. So I had no idea what to expect. The first half mile had a huge hill in it- really huge- and I thought for sure we'd have to walk- but he put his head down and charged up! I told him the rule is- if you make it up the hill you can't walk at the top. And he kept going. At about 1 mile (he didn't know this) he asked me when he could walk. Now I have to confess to a little bit of trickery here...I told him he could walk at a mile and gave him a reference point to make it to. We made it there and I told him to relax and make it to the next point...I kept doing this until we had about .25 miles to go and I told him--"James- we're almost there- can you just run the whole way now?" And he took off!

Long story short he ran 2 miles in 19:14! That's a 9:37 mile pace- or something close! And afterwards he said, "I thought I'd be a little more tired then this!" Oh- words cannot express the sheer joy! I'll have a running partner in a few years- one that can kick my butt!

Ironically...

The few places that I have found that will take pets..."income restrictions apply." Meaning- we make too much money?! What's up with that? Isn't that discrimination or something!?!

SOLD! on our "PLANS"

I am so far behind in keeping up with this blog. I had the glamorous idea of doing a post a day to keep track of all the summer fun. Hello! I'm already 30 days behind that plan! But is has been a nice month...and I already feel gloomy that July is almost half way only. I knew this summer would fly by- I just didn't realize we'd be at mock speed. Yes- time is mocking me:)

I decided for the time being to unprivitize my blog- just in case we forget to tell someone- anyone- our "plans"- that are unfolding- or should I say unraveling- at a much quicker pace then we ever dreamed. We put our house on the market last week- last Tuesday- to be exact. Thinking that we would have a few months to get things in order- to let people know that we were going to move etc. We got an offer on Wednesday. Yes- we sold our house in less then 24 hours- and for higher then asking price. Our jaws are still on the floor. Especially in this "time of economic woe." We feel very blessed- and very stressed. I have spent the last two days on the phone- on the internet- on the streets looking for a place to put my family for the next year. My concern is to keep things as normal as we can- especially for my little Adam who has such a hard time adapting to change. And he will be at a new school- so to move him from place to place would just put him on the fritz- which would put our whole family on the fritz. He has sweetened up so much lately and really seems to be getting a handle on life- I feel like we're knocking him down just when he's getting up. Long story short- there is nothing to rent in Kennewick for under about $1200.00 a month, that will fit my family and I won't feel like I'm dodging bullets! That's almost twice as much as my mortage right now! Wow-it's like San Jose all over again- except we're in Kennewick. Oh wait!! I know! We could manage an apartment complex! No one suggest that to Ted- or next thing I know we will be:) It's funny how with so many blessings come so many stressings. But I do feel richly blessed. We've been on our knees a lot saying thank you-- and could you please point us in the right direction now?! Thank you to all our family and friends who have been so loyal and supportive. I will miss my home. It has been a good home to us- if anyone wants to see a good cry just show up at my house around the 31st of July. This was a wierd post- but I needed to post something about it. Ummm, if you don't hear from us in a few months- you know why! "The best laid plans of mice and men often go ary!"

Good stuff!