Baby Kyle Turns One

There is no denying that as I look back over the last year since our sweet baby boy was born it has been rough! I’m not one to gloss over what has been a long hard year for our family. For some reason baby #4 wiped us out! Maybe it was the incessant crying the first few months of his life. Maybe it was how it really took a toll on sweet little Adam who turned into a terrible two year old overnight. Maybe it’s the guilt I feel as I ignore my two older children in order to provide for my very needy younger ones. Maybe it was the three trips to the Operating Room- Mom, then Emma, then Kyle. However…as I feel my head coming to the surface once more- and feel like I’m actually going to stay surfaced this time- I would not change any of our little struggles for the world. I need Kyle, our family needs Kyle. He is a breath of fresh air in our busy lives. Our lives would mean nothing without his sweet slobber all over our cheeks in the morning. He keeps us grounded as to why we are here on this earth. He truly is a little piece of Heaven on earth. He brings peace to James’ little soul as he struggles between a grown up world and the magic of childhood. Through Kyle James is able to see the sweet expressions of life. James revels in Kyle’s little triumphs and is protective of him when he’s in danger. James is always very aware of what Kyle is doing and I think this makes him feel needed and loved. For Emma, Kyle has stirred the first emotions of mothering (she was too little with Adam, just trying to work things out.) She coos and caws over him daily and begs for me to leave Kyle in her room during her quiet time so that she can play with him, and she does! Emma needed someone to need her- she adores Kyle! Adam was quite content with observing his little brother until just the last few weeks. Now he’s not sure what to do with him, but he tries very hard to be patient with him. He often asks Kyle to come play cars with him- they’re going to be best friends! He has understood for a while that if he’s going to take something away from Kyle he needs to replace it with something else- that’s very cute to watch! He is trying so hard to love Kyle…remember that Kyle! Adam loves you! Remember Kyle that we all love you and most importantly that your Heavenly Father loves you! And as long as you keep his commandments you will have happiness and joy in your life. You have the biggest bestest smile in the whole world. Two wonderful dimples that light up your face and make my heart sing for joy. You, my children, are my joy! So, please slow down. It makes my heart ache as I kiss you and James and Emma and Adam as you sleep each night. The time is flying by way too fast. My biggest regret would be to waste it. My only hope is that you grow up knowing how loved and cherished you are!